I am also trying to figure out if I should be a Divorce Buster. It is a huge commitment and it has helped me immensely. I have also discovered this wonderful forum. You have made many good first steps. My mother has also separated from her alcoholic companion of 21 years. He will be moving back this week after staying sober for 8 months and recommitting to do more family vacations. I am happy for her but she is cautious.
I have also asked my verbally abusive H to leave. It was difficult and I lhave lived with a lot of regret about my decision. But I now realize I can no longer take care of him as though he were my child.
You need to see a therapist or take your kids to family counseling. You cannot force him into counseling and ultimatums are scary, for me. You can only do what is best for you. If he does leave, you may be better off. He may try to recommit. He may go even darker as my H has done.
I honestly thought if I kicked out my angry depressed H he would clean up his act and remember us. No, he has fallen into a much deeper pit of despair and cut off contact with almost everyone he has known in his positive history, except his kids. Protect yourself and do not condone abuse. Abuse is a cycle that must end with us. We cannot show our daughters that love means taking abuse from their dads.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
