Glad you're still together with your H! I know it's been a tough road, but I am so impressed that you're hanging in there, and so is your H.
About the job question. I have a hard time believing that your H is not being hired, in secular jobs, b/c of having an A. As sad as it is, infidelity is more common than we think. And, while dating a co-worker is often against rules to prevent workplace discord, we all know it happens. And, social ramifications are there, but I have never really heard of someone not being able to be gainfully employed again after an A. I know of a few people (one that worked with my father) who was the VP of a corporation, had an A with his secretary who he eventually married. She had to quit her job, but his did not suffer. Same with others.
But, it seems that he's having a tough time getting a good referral from his former workplace - and it would definately come up if that was the reason he was fired.
Time for him to get creative to get around it, I think. Find some people he can befriend and trust to give a good referral, or go back to another workplace to rely on that. It still is going to be tough.
So, to answer your H's question....
Yes, there are a LOT of people who find jobs, keep jobs and excel despite workplace affairs.
But, in HIS case, since that was the reason he got fired and it was a religiously based organization.....well, a lot tougher.
Which is why I suspect his angst at himself for putting him in that position in the first place.
But, it's an interesting point....if it were the reason you could be looked down upon and lose your job, would people do it less b/c of the higher consequences?
I know with my H, he has lost all dignity, respect and social interaction with his colleagues. But, his behavior stretches into work, and not just with affairs, so he is suffering in his career, and I suspect will more to come. But, they certainly couldn't fire him for the As...
