meghan, if you can, I would highly recommend checking into al-anon. it might help you understand more about your h's disease, as well as your own co-dependency.
h is not an alcoholic, but he could very well be heading down that road if he keeps going the way he is going. my father is a recovering alcoholic...has been sober for over 20 years now. Only just now really understanding what my mom went thru with him.
I carry the co-dependent flag high in my own relationships, but am slowly, thru therapy, learning how to do things differently. It is NOT easy. but recognizing your own issues in the relationship is probably a good start.
good luck!
I have been to a couple of Al-Anon meetings, something I just started last week.
About 5 years ago, I was going through a rough time in my life and sought the help of a counselor. Things went well until she told me that I was Co-dependent and gave me this book, co-dependent no more. Well, I quit going, refusing to think there was anything really wrong with me.
When this happened with H, when he moved out, I started doing a lot of research about it online, always coming back to the same thing about the spouse--co-dependency. SO, i dug the book out and started reading it. It's me, to a 't'. I wish I hadn't blown my counselor off! she knew what she was talking about, I just wasn't ready to hear it. I'm about halfway through the book, it mentions Al-Anon alot, which inspired me to start going to meetings. I am learning how to do things differently too. It's hard. I didn't learn these habits overnight, it took time, and it will take time to change them. Already I am happier with myself and the pain isn't so bad. Not that it's easy, I'm sure you know, but time and effort helps.
