Thanks attorneytom and lissie. No, I don't drive a BMW!!
Any thoughts on why she's all of a sudden looking at the financial mail (bank statements, IRA statements, bills, etc)? I know it can be dangerous, and foolish to try to read too much into behavior in cases like this, but I can't help it sometimes. It's definitely out of the norm--I handled all the bills, etc. for the 11 years of marriage.
My guess is she knows she's spending a lot, and maybe feels some guilt. She's tight as can be about anything emotional; has been all summer. I'm not pushing on that front, however. I've read too many sad stories here, and I picked this up from my reading right at the start of this mess. Pressure only backfires.
The hard thing about the money is I'm about to move and buy some furniture, etc. to improve on the GLA front. I'm not doing badly now--I've had wonderful friends who've really stepped up in terms of their emotional support. Still, right now I'm in an apartment and have less furniture than most college students! That's actually been therapeutic. I've been able to focus deeply on reading all sorts of stuff, journaling, etc. Now, though, it's time to get a few more creature comforts. The more I read, the more I feel we're in for a long, bumpy ride if we are ever to make it back. I'm still not sure we will, but I'm not running out on the marriage until I have done all I can. If she wants to run out without doing truly everything, as Michele advises, then that's for her to live with.
