As far as poisoning the well. Kids generally know more than you think. They can recognize lies and exaggeration. Although you can't control what your wife says to them, try to be careful what you say about her. In the long run negative comments and behavior on either side will do a lot of damage to the kids. I think, the bigger the war, the worse the potential damage....
The best you can do is when a child mentions W's negative comments point out that even adults get angry and say things they don't really mean, mom and dad are doing the best they can to get through this difficult time as smoothly as possible, we both will always love and care about you two regardless of what's going on, etc... Just try to allay their fears, be strong for them, reasonable, reassuring, positive, etc... That is what will be best for them....
Originally Posted By: bobelina
DD8 doesn't want to go and see her mother. Prefers to stay with me.
D8 doesn't have a choice. The courts will decide this. I'd try to be encouraging.... your mom loves you and would miss not seeing you.
Originally Posted By: bobelina
I believe DD12 likes to go see her mom cause her mom buys her things. She also calls her mothers parents to buy her things. Her mother also takes her to the mall often to buy things. Prefers to feed them fast food, etc. I've always had issue with my STBXWW "buying" the kids off.
A mom who buys things is better than no mom. Even if she lives an "unhealthy" lifestyle.
Parents heal from divorce in about two to three years while kids carry this experience with them their whole lives. In other words, the experiences we have as children often affect us more profoundly than those we encounter as adults (by adulthood most of the important brain development has already occurred).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
