Yes I know, I am with the kids, and I am the responsible one, but that was how it always was, and I just get frustrated that now H is truly living how he wanted to all along.
I think you make a alot of assumptions: Husband's life is so great, he's living the life he always wanted, he's so happy, everyone who's going to be at the birthday party supports what he's doing... etc.... I used to do that too and people would remind me they are ASSumptions (they make an ass out of us!). We don't really know what's true, what's going on in the H's life and in his head. You might be right, but you could just as well be wrong. It's all pure speculation.
But now, I'm going to twist things a little... let's say you are right and your H is living how he wanted to live all along.... does that mean he never had what he wanted or was never happy with it? Also, did you really actually "love" your husband? Is this someone you cared about and loved? If so, would you really want him unhappy? Wouldn't you want him to have the life he wanted "all along?" Wanting him to stay with you in what he considers an "unhappy relationship," wouldn't that be pure selfishness on your part? Should we be forcing unhappy spouses to stay with us? And what is that saying about us? Are we going to be happy living with a spouse who doesn't want to be with us? How great is that for us? Are we better or happier being selfish? I don't think so...
For me to detach... I had to fully embrace that concept. If I truly love my husband (and I do.... even if things didn't work out and we eventually go our separate ways there will always be a spot in my heart for him... our history together, good times in the past, the kids... I'm thankful for those. Nothing erases that), so I do want him to be happy... and if this is what's making him happy. I have to wish him the best and let him do that... even if I don't believe that is where he will ultimately find happiness.
P.s. Hope you had fun last night!!! I went to a Brazillian Bar and tried to shake my tush like the gals on stage. I think I might need more "jello" on my behind! And one of those clinky Las Vegas showgirl outfits! I want one!!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
