My W & I have no kids & contact since the seperation has been limited. I have tryed to remain friends with my W & I beleive it's the best way forward where the aim is to save the M with limited contact. I sort of tested the water with a few phones calls, no R talk at all & nothing that would seem like pressure. Maybe try the same, if you W has an hobby, ask about it, ask about her job, her family, anything that would keep the call to maybe a few minutes in lenght.
No R talk, do happy talk...Maybe she'll ask how you are? what you've been upto..It's a good little goal to set. I once read somewhere, while speaking on the phone...SMILE... It's a trick that telesales people use alot, its ment to help have your tone of voice sound happy?
Has my being friends with my W made her think & consider? probably not. However, i am convinced that it has helped a little. She's more relaxed when we do meet, which I have to say, I can count on one hand the amount of times in 4 months.
For me, I have become comfortable with the prospect of my M being over. I'm not happy about it, but I can accept it. Again, try for the friends approach, it may be our only chance of keeping anything from our M's. Being there as a friend just may give you a slight crack in the door to keep a wedge in. At some point if you W new life goes down the pan...A good friend can be worth a million..
