NA - I have just read through bits and pieces of your threads. We seem to be on the same timeline. My H also wasn't home, but at home for 2+ weeks. My kids are a little older - D13 and D11. I decided that I wouldn't lie for him. I figured that it was his story to tell and he had to tell it. My D13 woke up one night and asked where he was...I told her I didn't know (I didn't), but I was sure that he was safe. She asked him about it the next morning and he lied. Before she asked him, I told him that she woke up. He asked me what I said to her and I told him what I said. He was a little miffed that I didn't cover for him, but I repeated to him that I wouldn't lie and wouldn't tell the truth because it was not my story to tell.
He is in his new apartment. I have not asked about it, where it is, or anything. Even during the weeks he was here, but not, I never asked where he was. Maybe I was preparing myself for his eventual leave...maybe I knew deep down that I didn't want to know....
I also did not push my H into telling the kids. However, when he purchased furniture, signed a lease and told me that he needed to tell them, I set the timeline. They had some parties that were coming up and I didn't want them ruined.
I also told H that I wouldn't tell the kids. I would be there, but he had to say the words to them. He wanted to tell them that WE were unhappy and WE were getting a divorce. I told him that if he said those words, he would be corrected in front of them. He felt that it should be done that way so blame wasn't an issue. I firmly, but nicely said that this is his action and he needs to take ownership of it. Again - he was not happy, but my belief in marriage and my belief in telling the truth are not negotiable.
As I read over this response, it sounds like my H and I have a fighting relationship. That is not true. If you read my thread, this all seems so surreal to me because this whole thing has been....friendly? He has been insensitve, but not the angry mean that so many here encounter.
I don't know if I am the best person for advice. But we (he) just told the kids one week ago, and I thought that maybe telling you what I did may help.
