Second what 789 said. I know it's not what you want to do but you need to stop focusing on the marriage and start focusing on his disease and how he can get help for it. I have first hand knowledge of this one and there is nothing you can do for your marriage until he is sober enough to think clearly. In my experience, that's several months after he stops drinking.
Send me a PM if you would like to talk about this problem off line. In the meantime, here's a link to your local AA chapters. It's a good place to start and not a bad place to end.
