EM, You still around tonight? I'm reading about NPD. My head is spinning. I know you said you thought it was a bit of a moot point if she is or isn't NPD. But I'm seeing to much of that in her. It's really freaking me out... I wouldn't mind talking abit about it.
Kids and how I feel: Things are so good here. They aren't pinening after their mom as I thought they would. My little one is getting closer with me each day. They seem mostly content to stay here not at their mom's. They talk about their mom abit. But it feels different. DD12 was upset that the topic of mom came up. The topic was mom relaying information thru the kids. DD8 was cool with it and wanted to pursue the talk but DD12 didn't want to talk "bad" of her mom. I dropped any further discussion. Like I said before this dance is hard. I've asked my STBXW to respect boudaries such as not relaying info thru kids but it seems to still happen. They mention things in a manner that sounds like it's coming from their mom to me. It's really tricky to deal with. I've not indicated that they are doing anything wrong. I did state that mom and I communicate thru email and that these are things for mom to communicate to me directly. That seemed to upset DD12. No anger, no tone of voice change from me. Still all smiles. Just part of regular dinner talk. Tamagochis, waterparks, food, and mom. ????????????
As far as communicating "she's dead to me" the kids know that mom hasn't access to me. They don't see me meet her when she picks up or drops off kids. I don't talk to her on phone, etc. Just email. Not something I've talked directly to kids about. But they do know why the family has broken up. They know that I'm not keeping them from their mom or vice versa. They've probably noticed that I don't encourage contact with their mom though. I will neither hinder nor encourage contact. They do know that what has happened is a consequence of their mothers actions. And once again this sux.
I think your being a teacher brings a lot of perspective to this discussion. It's all good.
