Everything you are doing sounds good. I agree with Cadesmom and Kissak that you should not rush back into living together. I like the way you structured the letter asking him what he will do. I don't like that he hasn't answered the letter. Perhaps he is taking his time to think about it. That would be alright.
You should make the Retrouvaille weekend a requirement before he can move back in, if you decide to let him come back. Then you can continue with the Post sessions together. The Post sessions deal a lot with rebuilding the marriage and accomodating each other. It sounds like you have figured a lot of stuff out on your own, but H still needs instruction.
