muddled and angry: Puddle's sencond thread

[S.T. _I Made It!]

yikes. ya, I think you know what you did was a bad thing, so that's okay. we all screw up, just as long as we learn from our mistakes. So don't be too hard on yourself. If you want, you can even apologize to your H for not thanking him for telling you what he did. Then let it go and work on the present.

Remember... which do you think would get a better result... Your reaction you gave to your H, or a reaction that said, I appreciate you giving me that information. If you could though, please let me know what your ahead of time how late you will be so the children and I aren't alarmed by your absence.

I know that we want to just bang them on the head, but really, when you come at someone with anger, they will always become defensive and then even their own reality can become construed, because they won't be thinking rationally.

oh, about the MC. It is a good thing that he mentioned it. Definitely not the typical male who wants nothing to do with a IC/MC. Just be careful though. if you decide to do it, really screen your counselor. Look for one who is very for M, and are solution based like Michele. Our society is so focussed on both people needing to want to work on the M, otherwise there's no point, that it could turn against your favor to go if that's how they feel about M. I used to think the same, and so did everyone else that talked to me last year, but after what I went thru, it is SOOOOO NOT TRUE. You CAN save your M by yourself. I did it.

What I would suggest is to go ahead and search for one, and get some recommendations or something and have it narrowed down. Then if H brings it up again you can tell him that you did get a couple names and would he like you to set up an appt.