GD-- Can you just set up trusts for the kids? You can even have an outside "professional" manage the trust, paying out things like support (% of a mortgage payment, etc.) rather than give your W more than required. That way, you know that you are working with the best interests of the kids in mind, without rewarding W for her unacceptable behavior and any of her present/future parasitic "boyfriends" who can probably smell the $$ on her a mile away...
I hope that you didn't sign anything yet--get with a lawyer ASAP. I think that your W and my H are on the same ship to the bottom, and we just have to sit back and watch them sink.
