Hi Bit......man I wish I knew what to tell you. I was almost a WAW and I still don't know what to tell you. That is how screwy it is! Yes, our emotions are one giant rollercoaster......one minute up...the next down......over, under, twisted....every-which-away. I don't know how LBS do it....I really don't. If I had been the LBS, I would not have had what it takes to put up with us.
Her emotions are ruling her soul.....she doesn't feel that she has any control, but may not admit that.....and she is very stressed out b/c she doesn't know what the hell she wants.
I think it boils down to this concept......is she worth it? Is she worth the hell she will put you through? Is she worth the work you will have to do? Is she worth the wait, agony, pain.....on and on .....is she worth it? Only you can answer that.
As far as putting a "deadline" on her coming around....you are setting yourself up for a let-down. Her emotions are not on any calendar. Even if she did what you wanted by the time you allowed (on the calendar).....who is to say she would not repeat her offese the next week? She has to have time to heal. She needs in C to help her work it out. That takes time. Again....is she worth it?
On your wedding day, you thought she was. When you vowed before her and God "until death do us part".....you thought she was worth it. So, did I Sweetie.......I thought my H as worth it and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Yes, I almost walked away, but thank God, I didn't and I got help. But, I'm in "piecing" now and we are having to deal with my "mess-up" and I am trying to figure myself out and heal from hurts that have been pushed down inside for the sake of my family.....for a long time....and heal from those resentments. (BTW...that was my H's "mess-ups.)
I hope and pray for the best for you and your loved ones. Come here often and talk to us. Believe me, it helps a lot.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
