MK--No, I am done with having kids. But I did pull that one out when I was trying to desperately salvage the M, as an option. H had a vascectomy, so it would have been difficult, anyway. We both decided that we had the family that we wanted a few years back.
As hard as it is right now with the age kids I have, I can't fathom how anyone could do infancy alone, without the extra set of hands to pitch in.
I think that your D's imagery was SO touching...I can see why you saved it. They know so much more than we wish they would, and it is sweet and painful at the same time.
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Spent the day with bff down the street. We talked, went out to eat at Friendly's and then played Apples for Apples with all of the kids--a good game for a big range of age levels.
After, we talked some more, and I showed her some of the personals responses. Had a good laugh, and even oogled a few. It doesn't seem as silly to me right now. I don't want to get involved in a R with anyone right now, but going out on a date may help make me feel better. I have never really done that. Something to think about.
I am having a hard time finding someone to come to court with me Monday. My IC thought it would be a very good idea to have someone for moral support and to help me keep strong and focused, and in-laws won't do it (completely understandable). Bff has to work, and I put a few calls out to other friends, so we will see. In IC, we talked a lot about the court mediation coming up, trying to prepare me for it. She also gave me some other ways to approach the $$ and CW things in a more non-confrontational / non-personal way.
As far as the house, he was the one who wanted to keep the kids and his parents in it. If that is no longer important to him and he won't stick with the original agreement, I will tell him that circumstances will have to change again. I will not take on a part-time job to keep the house that HE wanted in his family. I will start looking for a smaller place that I can afford--very matter-of-fact, and something that I really would not cry about if he calls the "bluff."
And the CW involved in the kids' lives--he only left the family home less than 7 weeks ago! IC pointed out, how much does he think the kids can process and absorb at once? It is so incredibly unfair to them, no matter WHO the other person was. What is the rush? (If she really loved him, she would be willing to step back while he finalizes this part of his life--IC feels that he is undergoing a lot of negative influence from CW). He needs to get professional counsel on how this will impact them. An idea was to make the no-contact order for a set amount of time, say 6 or 9 months, that NEITHER of us would introduce another partner into the kids' lives while they make their adjustments to this new life. He will only be seeing them every other weekend--that should be their time with HIM; there is no reason to include others in that so soon!
I have finally let go of trying to get him to change his mind or impart my ideas of what he should / should not be doing with his life. IC pointed out that he seems to be pushing through / following through with the decisions that he made, because how could he admit now that it was all a mistake? He may feel that he has to stand behind his choices at this point. He does nothing but rationalize, and so much of it is just illogical. I do feel sorry for him, but not to the point that I will not fight for the kids. I am taking a picture of them with me Monday to keep me focused on what I need to do.
I know that I am on the top part of the spiral right now, heading up, and I expect more dips; but I know that they won't be as bad as the last one.
Any other ideas that anyone has on these subjects are more than welcomed...
