My DH and I have been together for 2 years. I am pregnant, due at the end of December. He joined this family with three kids already. Now, we've had it tough the entire time we've been together. He's an alcoholic and I'm codependent. He moved out at the first part of August because we sat down and talked about it and decided it was probably the best thing for everyone. At the time, I really thought that it was. I love him more than anything in this entire world. I know he loves me too. We each have a lot of anger and resentment toward each other. He also has issues of having never lived on his own or owned his own "things."
I don't know what to do. I don't think the separation was a good idea at all. I agree that we both need to work on our selves as well as our relationship, but I definately think that doing this apart is the wrong way to do it. He won't move back in. Do I just give it time? How do I make this easier for the kids to handle? How do I make it easier for me--I'm falling into a depression, I just can't stand seeing him once a week and barely talking to him on the phone.
He's been trying to stay sober. He called me on Thursday and asked why he wanted to drink so bad. I didn't really have an answer for him. He sounded horrible. I asked him to come over, visit with the kids, have something for dinner other than frozen pizza. He said no, he was going to take a nap. Well, he apparently decided to anyway. We held each other for a while, watched a movie, then went to bed. Once there, he started talking--that's always been our "us" time.... we'd talk for 10 minutes or hours, depending on how tired we were... He said that he wasn't good enough for me, that I deserved better. I told him that yes, I did deserve better (he's been mean, he hit me drunk on New Years, he ignores me, etc) but that I wanted it from him. He's the one I chose to spend the rest of my life with. He said he was afraid he couldn't stop drinking... what if he hurt me again, so at least I think we've finally gotten to the heart of the problem...
I want us to both help ourselves, but I don't want to do it apart. Is it best this way?
