Thoughts on phone calls

[Dr.mom]

I am also in the Going Dark, but heading towards the LTR.

What helped me 6 months ago was the following:
Answer every third phone call. Or let them all go to voice mail.
Respond to emails 24 hours after they were received.
Agree to 2 out of 3 meetings.

This did seem to drive me nuts. It was SO hard to do. But it felt good, like I was getting back some control. I would fell empowered that he had emailed me, but I would have to restrain myself from responding back immediately.

When I did talk, or more commonly email, I would try to flirt. If you are not on it already, try instant messaging. Much better mode to flirt in, more immediate.

I have purposefully Gone Dark and do not initial contact anymore. The few emails I got last month from WAH always had a line thrown in that was flirty, or some inside joke only we knew. I do not know if this is a good sign or not.

I know right now you are jumping at every contact you have with her. Stop. It will help. I remember the feeling well.

You need to draw THEM out, have them seek you out. However, only you know to what extent to do this. IF you wife starts getting hysterical, or really mad, or freaking out, you have to back-step a little. Tone it down to what works for you guys. Remember, the 180 can be tweaked. Push the envelope as far as it can go.