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#117572 05/06/03 06:56 PM
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KAW Offline
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Quoting RandyH:
We haven't been intimate since we split,oh she flirts alittle but I try not to bring it up.
Is there a double meaning in here as in pun intended?

Sorry, just couldn't let that one slide...

'til later,
KAW

#117573 05/07/03 04:48 PM
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Randy,

This is your life. Everything you do is based on your wife and her reaction. May I suggest that you just live. You see, it really makes no difference and if anything your jealousy will come through. I know that I have to still hold myself in check, but I am a seasoned veteran. And quite frankly, I don't look at my ex with wanton eyes. You're too tied up. Free yourself. My guess is that will do more to get her back than anything.

IMP

#117574 05/09/03 01:05 PM
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RandyH Offline OP
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I know that is true and I started that last night,I was talking to X about going somewhere for Memorial Day and she said she didn't really want to go anywhere.
I told her I thought it might be nice for all of us to get away.She said something about staying here and going camping,well I assumed she meant she was talking
about taking the girls and going with her brother and his family.I told her that if she did I would make plans and go somewhere myself,she got real
defensive and said well if thats what you want to do.I told her she needed to let me know if we were going to do something together or not and I would
do something else if we weren't so we will see what happens.We spend alot of time together now and get along fine.I hope that she will take the next step someday.

#117575 05/09/03 07:21 PM
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RandyH

Hang in there man. If you love her stay the course. I know its not easy. I am starting to treat my ex like any other woman that I would like to date, i she doesn't want to date me, like this weekend for instance, I am going to find someeone else to have dinner with. Matter of fact I am having dinner tomorrow evening with a lady I just met. This doesn't mean I don't love my ex, it just means I'm tired of sitting home by myself waiting for the phone to ring.

#117576 05/12/03 03:42 PM
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RandyH Offline OP
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I am trying to do just that.i really liked what was said the other day about planting a tree and then digging it
up every couple weeks to see if it is growing doesn't make much sense.We had a good weekend.Soccer saturday
then she asked to go eat and that night she was going to go out with a girlfriend but called me at 10 to tell me they weren't
going.Sunday morning she called and asked me and the girls to go to her moms and help her do some stuff so I
spent the
rest of the day together

#117577 05/14/03 12:41 PM
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RandyH Offline OP
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I have a question about piecing,how do you get the physical part back,not neccesary the sex but hugs or kissing or just the simple
act of touching.Do you wait for them to make the move?It seems to me that you would become closer by touching
once in a while,its just human nature.Like in earlier posts,we are still spending some time each day together,I almost always eat
supper there.Things are so much better then a month ago.I guess I am just getting inpatient.After the d's
went outside this morning when I was picking them up for school I asked her about a hug and she said she wasn't to that point so I droped it
and thanked her for being honest with me.

#117578 05/14/03 03:48 PM
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Randy,

From where I sit, it appears that you are in total obsession mode. It is my belief that it translated to the party of your interest. If my ex asked me today if we could work on things, I would. However, I don't look at her with wanton eyes. You are afraid that if you back off, you will lose her. But as it is, she is comfortable and calling all the shots. She has to do nothing. Remember, she left you and hung with someone else.

IMP

#117579 05/14/03 05:50 PM
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Randy -

Not sure what to tell you. In my case, XH started instituting the physical part of the R on his terms....sleepover nights, etc. I too am afraid to say NO once in a while because I am afraid to lose him.

I just keep thinking....he is not mine to lose....he did D me. He is my XH.....not sure - just try giving her some space. I wish mine would want to work on the R and start over....but, not sure if he will ever be.

Faith

#117580 05/14/03 06:36 PM
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You are both right,I live my life but we spend alot of time together,I think I need to do whatever makes her think right
now and if and when she falls more then make her do the effort.I wish so many times that the shoe was on the other foot
for just a day.She knows how I feel and i guess all I can do is wait and see or go on and meet someone else.I
did tell that if she dated someone else then I would figure she was done and that would be that.Last summer she went on
vacation with me and she said after wards that she was seeing if she could develope any feelings and I think thats what she is doing now.

#117581 05/16/03 12:12 PM
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RandyH Offline OP
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She seems to be getting cold again,I guess I need to back off,it sucks that they make all the rules.

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