Are we piecing yet?

[Have Faith]

Well, he showed up to meet a friend at the house. He has a second job and this friend is taking it over so he is training with him. He said he would be back in a couple of hours to get my oil changed.

I didn't do very well. I blew it. He ask me how my golf game went yesterday and when I told him what I shot, he was impressed and then wanted to know who I was with and said "you probably had dinner there too." I said yes we did. I told him that since he wasn't accountable to me for who he was with and his time then that rule applied to me too. That he did not know the person I was with and it didn't matter. He also ask me where I met him. "Did you meet him at the party you went to last Saturday." I again told him it didn't matter.

He said that because someone would make me feel good and give me attention that I would be over him in about 4 weeks. I told him that he would rather sleep on an air mattress and live out of plastic bags that to give up OW. I had tried for 3 months to show him what our married life would be like and that I had done all that I could. I ask him if he had given up OW yet and he said no. I also told him that I had called about our divorce and they had told me that he would get a letter sometime about 6 months after the time that I had signed the preliminary papers (that would be sometime the end of October)and then he would have 10 days to sign them. He said gosh I haven't made any calls and you seem like you can't wait for it to be final.

I said that wasn't the case, but he wasn't doing anything to make me believe that it would be any different. I said you aren't presueing me. Then he says. "I can't complete with these professional guys who make a lot of money." I said why can't you and why is money always so important to you. I wouldn't be with a man because of money. About then the doorbells rings and I leave to answer it. I then hear him saying under his breath," I don't need to come over here to get this."

So now he is gone and will be back later. I feel like sh!@. I'm ready to cry and I feel like we have gone back to where we were 3 months ago. How is it he can tell me a week ago that I had 90% of him, that he loved me and she only had 10% and yet he is willing to give up that 90% for the 10%.

What really is the bummer is that none of this is true. I didn't go to a party last Saturday and while I golfed yesterday it was at my own club with a friend and I ate dinner there by myself.

I must do better when he comes back.

Faith