bar, I'm not really sure. I'm not doing anything really. It seems automatic. But then I wake up bright and early and anxious. Too many things going through my head at once. I do get calm moments at times. Like after talking to the W on the phone or maybe even others like MIL yesterday. Couple things.
1. I need to be able to control what I think and quit thinking about everything. I need to just worry about today. Easier said than done really. It's all about control in the end. If you feel you are out of control, you feel anxiety. Need to let go of that somehow. I really do not like the sudden unexplained anxiety. Those are the worst. I felt that in the Harry Potter movie and just wanted it get out. I stuck through it. Granted I should've chosen something light and fun cuz that movie is dark! A lot of the times I write down things I want to say to my W instead of actually saying it to her. I come back to it later and usually I delete them because I realize they aren't good for DBing.
2. I realize that human contact is very important. They keep you from going crazy. So need to go out, GAL, meet people, and make friends. Staying at home just make you nutty. :P
bar, as far the anxiety when the H is out, it's a matter of trust and letting go. You can go crazy thinking all that stuff. You have to either have trust in him or pretend AS IF he's being faithful to you. Otherwise you'll always be suspicious and that can be very bad for your R and you mentally. I would also suppose that's called detaching.... Well heck, maybe you need to go out and have some fun and do something instead of worrying about him. It may make a difference once he sees you doing that.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
