I think each individual is different. I have been very careful on what I ask about OW and the A, although supposedly it was only an EA, but I'm not sure if there was SOME physical contact, although I believe him when he told me initially they did not have sex.

My whole thing has been whatever I know is going to always be in my head, actual pictures of what happened. I have carefully thought about certain questions I THINK I want answered and not actually asked them until I'm sure I want to know the answer.

With me, less is better. I know it happened, and I know H and I are moving forward together so any details I know I am going to have to live w/. I've kept the details to a minimum.

Like I said, I think very carefully before I ask a question. I don't just ask when I all of a sudden feel I want/need to know something because I could change my mind after actually giving it some thought.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10