Morgan, I wish I did have more control over my emotions. That level of calm was not a conscious choice--it was just there (and I am thankful for it, believe me!). It was just two days before that a stranger holding a baby set me off...but I would rather that than loose it around H.
The big test of calm will be Mon, as I go back to court to deal with him trying to go back on his word. I have to vamp myself up, I think, and write out all the things that he has done that were terrible to me and the kids as of late. Anger is not something that you usually want to cultivate, but in this case, it will make me stronger so that I can fight for what is in the best interest of the kids. Any damamge done will just have to be. Once the agreement is in place, it can really only be changed if there is a substantial change in circumstance.
