Hi Summerd, thanks for your reply and once again, sorry for hijacking your thread!!! I asked him the night he told me about the baby whether or not it was his! The question didn't even register with him and went right over his head. I really think this is/has been his wake up call. She has him by the short and curlies because I have it on good authority that she is very unstable and terrified that he will come back to me. It's funny though because although I have never met her or seen her, everything I suspected about her has been confirmed. She is very very needy and insecure, everything that I am not ( well not since this all blew up. I am strong and h is beginning to realise this ). He thought his life before was sooo bad. I also have it on good authority that he doesn't see a future for him and her ( ooh, I wonder why )and that he still loves me and wants his marriage. He has got a funny way of showing it though although as I have said, she has him by the short and curlies with this baby to a certain extent. He has got himself in a fix and doesn't know how to get out. He has got to figure this out for himself though because it is his mess. I did tell him about a month ago that I wasn't prepared to give up on this marriage which he said he appreciated hearing but it is not a green light for him to continue to do things that hurt me and the kids. If we do reconcile in the future then I have to see some big big changes in him. I certainly don't see anything yet although I have seen flashes of regret. He will not be allowed to cake eat because I am getting stronger day by day. Anyway, enough of me and my sitch. It is quite similar to yours in a way minus the baby situation. It's very difficult because you want them to come to their senses and realise that they do want to come back home but at the same time you have to do what is right for you. It's not enough for them to just simply be missing the comfy lifestyle. If I have learnt anything from this it's that I wasn't happy about certain things either and of course these things have to change. I'm waffling a bit but I think you get the general idea. It's great that your meal went well. I think that the fact that he opened up to you is also great. You have really quite literally given him food for thought. Keep it up and who knows? Take care, Laurel.
