Having another bad day...found out he lied about trying to call me the day of the A. H told me he tried to call me, thinking the sound of my voice would change his mind....what a load of BS! The phone bill shows for a fact he NEVER tried to call me! Sounds more like another way to make me feel like sh**! He has been trying and I have seen some change but why does he feel he has to lie about the lie!!!! As if having an A was not enough but to lie about the things leading up to it make me really mad. I have held feelings of guilt and thinking what if I had answered the phone that day.......well no more of that because he did NOT try to call! I want so badly to get this all out in the open and work on healing but I feel he does not want to open up completely to me...and I need that right now...pure open honesty...am I asking too much??? I have this very strong urge to call the OW and find out what all else he has lied about.....a part of me wants to know everything...yet that other part says leave it alone.....AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!! I hate this feeling...I HATE feeling so out of control.......all this hurt and anger...what do I do with it all????
M 35 H 44 D 21,D 18,D 17, D 15, D 13, D 11, D 10, S 9 BOMB DROPPED 7/16/07 STILL TOGETHER, TRYING TO WORK IT OUT H ENDED A WITH Ow 7/15/07
