Well I slipped up alittle today and asked her to be sure and let me know when I could give her a hug or kiss,She said she hadn't thought about that and not to push.So now I know the limits and won't go there again for a while. After all it's been 22 days straight that we have done something together,well off to the kids soccer,I have to go by and pick her up.
I can't tell if I am getting anxious or pushing but I am going to try to back off because she seems to be cooling alittle. I know she hasn't felt real good lately and it is weird because she says she doesn't want to go out but yet she call and wants me to come eat supper or go do something else.I just wish she would open up and let me know if she is thinking or what.Does anyone have any ideas on what WAWs are thinking at this point.We all went out to eat last night and everything went great,I even gave her some flowers yesterday and she thanked me for them.
I had prepared a response but somehow it never made it to the board.
First, with baby steps. Don't think about that. No disrespect to KAW, but baby steps are something we know of ourselves, we can't attribute any motives to others actions. I had been through many of the same "baby steps" and in the end she was stepping away. If you recall in the movie, "What About Bob," the baby steps were about Bob and no one else. I have seen tons of people on this board talk about their ex's baby steps! We don't know what they are thinking unless we ask.
As for you, you need to stay cool and focus on being the best you can be. If you are your best, you give the marriage the best chance of working out. I know how difficult it is not to obsess over things and that is ok. Stay cool.
Thanks,we did talk just for a minute and I dropped it,basicly she said that she didn't know if coming back was what she wanted and I just asked her to tell me if she ever decided that rather than just quit talking to me.I don't understand them at all I know for a fact that i treated her better than any of the other guys she dated afterall I have known her since she was born.I told her I felt she could be happy with us as a family and that she would make the right decsion when the time was right and I was going to drop it until then.She said something about me smothering her but she calls me to do something.Oh well can't live with them and can't live without them.
I too am D and DB - XH has his nice and not so nice moments. We have sleepovers 2-3 times a week. Things are moving...just not sure where or how long it will take.
I wish she would sleepover,but that hasn't happened yet.It is so hard because I know I should be happy with what I have right now it is so much more than a couple of months ago.We have done something together all but a couple of days for a month,I know I have to back off a little so she can analize what it has been like and what it would be like if I wasn't able to be around her.
You are doing fine. Keep DB - be compassionate and cherish her. Listen to what she is saying...validate and have patience. My XH goes through the feelings of he cannot trust me and he needs to move on every couple of weeks ( it seems). I just agree with him ( a bit of backsliding) and then in a couple of days he is back. It is strange. They are experiencing pain...they cannot trust what their heart is feeling or what their eyes are seeing.
We had another great weekend,dinner friday and soccer games and lunch saturday and breakfast lunch and dinner sunday.I was working on one of my rentals and she worked her tail off helping and it was great,we had a good time even working. We had a R talk saturday and it wasn't to bad,i think she is starting to see how hard I am working and that what I say is true.
Another great evening of soccer dinner and shopping for stuff to remodel rental.She picked out the paint and everything needed and is going to help.That makes 27 days out of the last 30 that we have been together.There was even a little flirting and joking around last night. We are both going on field trip with daughter tomorrow so theres another 8 hours together.Life is good,This may end up to be a story for why to never give up,remember it's been 2 1/2 years since sep.and a year and 1/2 since D.Don't give up and don't pressure,be as happy as you can.
