I was over looking at the Boston get together thread and LL suggested I that I come here. Also, rayanne, suggested that you read my thread. I have met both of these terrific women and can echo many of the sentiments that they have relayed to you. Also, I found myself saying yes to many of the interactions that you write about. If I knew what all of it meant, Dr. Phil would be out of a job!
The long and short of all of this is that you need to be where you need to be. Expecting someone else to come where you want them to be doesn't seem to work. Way back when all of my stuff started, I think there was a chance to save things but I knew it would take a long time. The problem I had was getting myactions in synch with my brain. Some days I still wonder if I have made it to that point.
So what do I do? I stay friends. I don't think of much more than that. It makes life easier. I don't tell her I love her, because that will definitely run her off. I stay available and do things as a family. We go to church almost every Sunday as a family. However, I still have a roving eye and I don't think that it is all bad. I am divorced. So I do want a relationship with a woman, but I have been very patient about it. I don't pretend to know why things happened as they did, but I am still in a struggle to get me where I need to be, mainly from a financial standpoint. And I could stand to lose a few pounds, but that really isn't so big a deal.
Just keep living your life. It is obvious to me that you are doing what you need to do. All we can do is be true to ourselves and I see that in you. What will ever become of the relationship? Who knows? My ex and I are probably a better couple now that we are unmarried. Will there be a future? Yes, but I don't know the form. But we will be in each others' lives since we have children. When I go to church, sometimes I ask God for the outcome that I think I want, ie reconciliation. But the best prayer is when I pray for peace. That is almost always granted.
