I can't read the mind of anyone else...but it would seem to me that xw does still care for you. for now as hard as it may seem..just keep doing what your doing...enjoy being a family and enjoy the time you do get to spend with her...in time something may come of it..and if not..well you do have the friendship going and that is a great reward for you and your children.
Thanks for your reply lostlove.I dreamed last night that i was going somewhere and told my d I love you and Xw was standing there and she said me too.I woke up and then realized it didn't happen,what a let down.We spend more time togetherr every week so I hope it continues.I guess a big sign will be if she invites me to her families easter this weekend. I want to just hold her hand so bad that its more work not to than to try.Good luck
I was over looking at the Boston get together thread and LL suggested I that I come here. Also, rayanne, suggested that you read my thread. I have met both of these terrific women and can echo many of the sentiments that they have relayed to you. Also, I found myself saying yes to many of the interactions that you write about. If I knew what all of it meant, Dr. Phil would be out of a job!
The long and short of all of this is that you need to be where you need to be. Expecting someone else to come where you want them to be doesn't seem to work. Way back when all of my stuff started, I think there was a chance to save things but I knew it would take a long time. The problem I had was getting myactions in synch with my brain. Some days I still wonder if I have made it to that point.
So what do I do? I stay friends. I don't think of much more than that. It makes life easier. I don't tell her I love her, because that will definitely run her off. I stay available and do things as a family. We go to church almost every Sunday as a family. However, I still have a roving eye and I don't think that it is all bad. I am divorced. So I do want a relationship with a woman, but I have been very patient about it. I don't pretend to know why things happened as they did, but I am still in a struggle to get me where I need to be, mainly from a financial standpoint. And I could stand to lose a few pounds, but that really isn't so big a deal.
Just keep living your life. It is obvious to me that you are doing what you need to do. All we can do is be true to ourselves and I see that in you. What will ever become of the relationship? Who knows? My ex and I are probably a better couple now that we are unmarried. Will there be a future? Yes, but I don't know the form. But we will be in each others' lives since we have children. When I go to church, sometimes I ask God for the outcome that I think I want, ie reconciliation. But the best prayer is when I pray for peace. That is almost always granted.
Thanks for the reply,you are right they seem like great people.You are right about everything else too.Yesterday she seemed different so I asked her what was wrong and she said she wasn't ready to spend every day with me and I said that was fine so I didn't expect supper or anything.Well just as I was getting off work she called and asked if I would like to eat supper with them.That makes it that there has only been 2 meals in 11 days that we haven't eaten together.She used to say stuff like this doesn't mean anything if we went someplace togeteher but she doesn't say that anymore so that could be a good sign.I try to take each day as it comes and stay happy but I am like you I am ready after 2 1/2 years to have a woman that I can touch or hold their hand.How does yours act if you mention physical?do you get hugs,kisses etc.
I have thread in newcomers and surviving. A search will pull up all kind of nonsense...lol!m I have been all over the place, but I am doing well now so I really don't post much anymore.
The real key to all of this is not to want or expect. I know how hard that can be. Also, you need to give as much space as possible and you definitely spend much more time with your ex than I do. So that is good. But as soon as we want too much, it all crashes. Let her want you.
Thanks immyplace,I do try to give her space and that is the time that she wants me around,but your right that is the toughest part and I struggle everyday with it.
Had a great weekend,spend friday evening shopping and hanging out with XW and kids,saturday we just hung out and sunday she invited me to her familys easter dinner and then she went to my families.Time will tell but I really think she is trying or testing the water.She asked me to call her every morning and I have to leave in a bit to go with her to her Dr. appt.
