GD's New Dance

[NikB]

((GD))

Wanted to echo what was said earlier - you really are a whole new man than the one who started posting here! And in record time, too. Hope you're really feeling it deep down, by this point (I went/go through a lot of "fake it til you make it" days).

[Gone Dancin']

Thanks Sunny and Nikki!

Some woman, if not your W, is going to reap the benefits of the new you. You're some kinda powerful quick study & it's been fun to watch unfold.

Making me blush as usual, sunny! Thanks for the PMA boost!

you really are a whole new man than the one who started posting here! And in record time, too. Hope you're really feeling it deep down, by this point (I went/go through a lot of "fake it til you make it" days).

Thank you for the PMA boost too, Nikki! I am feeling the changes deep down, and they are sticking more and more (becoming more natural). I know that it is necessary, which obviously makes it that much easier to accomplish. It's hard to work on changes when you doubt their impact and necessity in your life.

I'm obviously disappointed in my W's choice to follow through with the D (as well as my own choices that lead her to feel the need to do this), but I'm adjusting to the reality relatively well now. I've talked to her a few times lately, with her being short with me at times. I continue activating my duck's back when this happens, but I've also found that I'm not so "bubbley" with her anymore. I think this is a good thing, as long as I continue with being the better man I know I can and should be. I sign off on the D tomorrow (she signed off today). She has gotten really impatient with the whole process lately, since some things got delayed (mainly due to her atty). When she acted this way toward me a few days ago, I simply asked, "Is there a reason why you need it done as soon as possible?" She immediately chilled a little and said "No, I'm just mad at my atty."

I think she just needs/wants some closer with this D so she feels more comfortable in her new(?) R. Sounds like it's going strong, but I've heard that she tries to keep the finances as separate as possible (tries to avoid asking him for help).

That's all I've got, as I have a hard time analyzing my R with W now that I know it's over. I just don't really care anymore, which certainly helps me in the detaching dept!

GD

[C_K]

GD ,

at least now you can move on with your life and this experience will be of great value to you going forward.
And as the others have said , you are still young and way ahead of where i was at your age thats for sure.

Dave

[christarn]

I'm thinkin of you GD....stay strong and true to yourself!! You have so much to offer!! Take care of yourself!! Christa

[Heimlich]

That's right, GD. If you were a chick, I'd go out with you.
BD

[Reincarnated]

{{{{{GD}}}}}

I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you, and telling friends what an amazing person you are. I know that you are feeling a loss in your life, but you sound so good and strong; I am sure that you got so much more out of this whole life thing than your W can ever hope to accomplish right now.

I am also hearing the word "closure" often. I think my H is in the same mental place as your W, and won't be detered at all. It really is sad, and I know that they will just have to live it to feel it.

Please let me know if you end up doing the Lindy anywhere in the tri-state area around NYC...I've been cuttin' the rug around home for practice!

[SuperDad]

GD,
I know it sounds strange, but I envy you. My sitch is so in limbo since my W won't leave, won't pursue a job, and won't work on the M either or even on her own issues. I know she is just trying to wear me down, but she ought to know my now that this will not be an easy task.

Just remember me when you are feeling a bit down!
SD

[ItsKat]

Hi, GD!

I know your sitch w/ W maybe isn't where you would like it to be right now, but, as so many others have said, you are doing the absolute best you can with it by focusing on you and your hard-earned changes.

You are an inspiration to many!

And I think you and Heimlich would make cute dancing partners.

[Not Much Left]

Oh boy. Cute dance partners?....(((Kat!!!)))

[Gone Dancin']

Thanks everyone! You guys are awesome with all of your support!

Dave,

at least now you can move on with your life and this experience will be of great value to you going forward.

This is absolutely true -- I'm getting closure myself, and I am young enough that I can really benefit from this experience in a new relationship. A blessing in disguise, I guess!

Thanks for being such a great source of advice and support -- you've been an awesome DBing asset for me!

christa,

Thanks for the words of support -- always greatly appreciated! How are things with your H? Last I checked, you were on a positive path to reconciliation. Is this still the case?

Heim,

That's right, GD. If you were a chick, I'd go out with you.

Hmmmm. Thanks, I think...

You've been a great support for many people on these boards, Heim. Your wit is unparalleled (except maybe for Nomo!). It has been great getting to know you and having you here as a friend. Keep up the constant reflection, monitoring, and all that jazz! You're doing great, buddy!

Donna,

I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you, and telling friends what an amazing person you are.

Awe, come on now! If I have been great, it is because I've stood on the shoulders of DBing giants! (tweeked Thoreau quote)

Seriously though, thanks for being so kind and supportive. You've kept my PMA going strong! BTW, any of those friends of yours hot and single...

Please let me know if you end up doing the Lindy anywhere in the tri-state area around NYC...I've been cuttin' the rug around home for practice!

I definitely will! I've never been anywhere in New England aside from JFK airport, so if I get the opportunity to go I'll definitely let you know. Have you found any Lindy lessons in your area? Hope so, and if not, Charleston not a bad second choice (and integrates well with Lindy Hop!).

SD,

I know it sounds strange, but I envy you.

You're right -- that does sound strange!

You are an awesome person, SD. You're very clever, knowledgeable, apparently quite handsome (according to Still's friend!), educated, etc. You're going to be just fine no matter what happens with your M. And, to add meringue (sp?) to the list makes you even more of a catch for those hot Florida women. The envy can work both ways, I guess!

I've been keeping up with your sitch, too -- interesting new developments via discovery of W's computer adventures. You're handling things very well despite these and other recent discoveries. Know your boundaries and your goals. You'll come out of this better than ever, and hopefully W eventually will too!

Kat,

Thanks for continuing to be here for me. It has been great to get to know you and to have you as a friend. I like what I've seen from you lately in your own sitch -- keep us posted on everything!

And I think you and Heimlich would make cute dancing partners.

Okay, but he's going to have to be the follow (hear me Heim -- I know you're into me, but we've got to keep this a "friends only" R). Heim's got to learn Lindy, though -- I'm not doing any fox trot or other formal ballroom dancing!

CVA,

Didn't you know Kat was kind of crazy?!


Okay, everyone. Just want to tell you all that I'm thinking about moving over to the "Divorced, But Not Done" forum real soon. I'm not quite done yet, but am trying to detach as much as possible and focus on me and the kids, while still leaving the door cracked open. We'll see if I can get some great advice on how to do this from people over there.

It has been a pleasure growing with you all (and others who weren't addressed in this post). I will continue checking in with you all, so don't start getting teary-eyed on me now (you know you were!)!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

GD