I am so very miserable and as of late overly focussed on my perceived lack of appropriate marital intimacy...
THIS is your problem. Not your H, not the lack of sex.
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I honestly think I would be happy (as opposed to generally tolerant but occasionally resentful) dealing with day-to-day grind if only I could expect that my husband would want to escape with me every night in marital relation bliss.
This is another problem. Your expectations, and how you want him to accommodate them. That means you want to live his life for him, to the degree YOU desire. Where does HE get to be him in this picture?
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Maybe I'm an oxytocin junkie, but a nice little orgasm makes just about anything alright.
Then buy yourself a sex toy, get yourself off, and then cuddle with your dog or cat.
There really is no sex issue in your R. You just want what you want, when you want it, how you want it, and you want it right now. This attempts to emasculate your H, and masculine men typically don't respond very well to that.
There is nothing wrong with being assertive. You will tend to experience difficulties when you become domineering. You even call yourself a shrew, and can of shrug it off and giggle like that is actually a humorous thing... 'oh, women can do that, you know...'
That's bull pucky. It's disrespectful, to both yourself and him, and it is the kind of behavior I'd expect to see from a girl, not a woman.
That probably sounds rather harsh. I'm not trying to be harsh. Just frank.
