There is a big difference between setting boundaries that respect you and make room for you to have a good life, letting go, detaching, becoming independent, nand so on, and being DONE.
It is a problem that many people only do the former when they reach the latter. Because the former is what it takes to save Ms and doing it after the latter is too late to save the M.
That is very profound. I have been in "save the marriage" mode for so long, it's like I have been reinforcing within myself that I don't believe in D. That I *know* we could work it out if he would try, etc. In order to keep hanging on, etc, I have mentally reiterated over and over and over, that *this* is what a commitment *is*. You don't give up. Never say die.
Because of this brainwashing (for lack of a better term), I don't "get" how to detach/let go without being "done". Am I making any sense here? I keep getting stuck in the "I made a commitment" loop. If I mentally break the promise I made, I guess I have to feel like it is serious enough that I am "done."
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
