Last night we had our joint C session. I wish I could say it went well. It was long – almost 2.5 hours. Most of the issues revolved around the changes I need to put into place. Changes in the way I communicate – don’t talk like I am her boss/father, and other things that I have already put into gear – temper, venting, etc. Her main changes were in the way she communicates – which is very vague. She not only needs to this in order to rebuild our relationship but also to properly communicate with the kids namely our D12. I could see that C is trying to get her to engage – because she seems like she is on the brink of letting the relationship go.
I guess C can be unfulfilling as you learn more about your W. Seems like she has no ambition. She is a part time receptionist and works only two days a week. She never finished college – and is still thinking of going back – heard this for 20 years. When C asked what her hobbies or interests are she replied “shopping”. This somewhat depressed me more. I am married to this woman that just wants to go shopping and have a party life like Paris Hilton – what a Barbie Doll. I wish she would grow up and face reality. She must have said it twice during the session that she doesn’t love me. And said it one more time on the phone later that evening. Maybe she wants to see how much I can take.
While C doesn’t believe that W is in mid life crisis she did state that we are both depressed. No kidding – a loveless marriage with no communication, respect or caring for each other. I really walked away questioning my feelings about her. Do I even want to married to a person like her anymore – is it worth the effort, time, and expense to fix things.
I really do not mind changing things about myself that will bring positive changes into my entire life. Now I need my space – get my personal goals in order – and try to concentrate on me. Really make a decision as to whether I want to be married.
It has been one long week and I feel tired and drained from all the B.S. of cars, finances, and the R.
