Cadesmom - you sound really good. And don't beat yourself up on the (almost) EA. The key is you recognized it and DIDN'T fall into it!
So you're liking bellydancing eh?
I just got some DVDs for bellydancing, salsa, and hula - trying to find one I like that I can actually do.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
hey, I totally undestand about being weak and on the brink of doing something stupid. Luckily we have something in between our ears to stop us from acting stupid
I love belly dancing! just got a video and knocked the wind out of me, but I love it! great work out and very sexy.
How cool! would love to be in a real class, have a blast!!! buy one of those cute wrap arounds with tiny coins for your waist, it looks so cool when you are belly dancing.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Hey all, changed the name, but I'm still here. Went & visited H and things went really well. Monday, he actually sent me flowers & a teddy bear & the card said the bear was "preloaded" w/ hugs. He'll be home for a month in December and then for good in May.
Just kind of "tripping" along right now. Dealing w/ the boys & S3's "issues" right now. "Terrible 3's" it seems.
Try not to "dwell" on what could/will happen when H gets home and the "real world" is upon us again. I am just trusting & praying that we will just be happy to be together again and deal w/ the stressors of "getting to know each other" again and getting into a routine w/ him home again. I am hopeful that our M issues are in the past and we can just move forward.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
hey girly! long time no see! glad to see you had a great time. I think people with more than one child under 5 deserve a medal, you must be so tired half the time.
Yes, feed the good part of your brain, hope time flyes by and he's home again.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Hey, Cat. You need to start a new thread, girl! What's going on? Anything new on the homefront?
I understand the wanting a "friend" thing (from your last post). It kinda happened to me after H left w/ one of his friends. The guy started texting & emailing me. It's nice to feel attractive after our own husbands do the things they do to us, you know?
Nothing more to report. I did, however, give myself a bit more stress by adding a family member -- a cat, BUT now I'm not the only female in our house. LOL! The boys love her and she's actually really good w/ all of them, even 3 yr old and 19 month old!
Going to try to just have a good weekend w/ the boys -- just happy stuff, no stress! Maybe I'll pull out the Halloween decorations.
Yes, I am tired A LOT, but surprisingly getting through H's deployment w/ the 3 boys a lot better than I thought I would.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
RHW (Cadesmom!!!! I hadn't realized that was you!!!! and you are a red head! ... is it natural?),
I think having a "near" EA is sort of good. During my divorce (just as my relationship with H was starting to get a little better), I did meet a guy who I developed a crush on. Even though it was only an emotional affair (okay, 2 hugs and one kiss.... big deal!!!!), it helped me understand what my husband went through and how these relationships feel. I was able to examine my feelings and the relationship from this other angle. I could also see the fantasy in it all. It was kind of nice having that objective view. This kept me from allowing it to go further, but at the same time gave me a lot of insight. I think when you can keep your head together, going through something like this and understanding it better can be a positive.
It also helps you realize your own vulnerabilty and the weaknesses you may see in others. I think if you turn it into a positive it can help you be even more determined and aware of never falling into that type of situation.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Yeah, natural redhead. Actually, the "other guy" makes my stomach roll when I think about him now, makes me sick to think about him. Not in a scared/guilty kind of way, just that he was/is H's friend/co-worker and is married and the stuff he said & did was absolutely out of line. At first, I did go along w/ it. Feeling attractive to someone else was very nice and now I understand the "addiction" of EA's. Just glad that's over with. No desire to "go there" anymore. I'm just so glad that I/we (H &I) have a second chance to get things right.
But, I do agree, it's helpful to go through it and have a better understanding of how/why H did some of the things he did.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Journaling, I guess . . . I'm really lonely these days for H. Taking care of the boys is constant and it's so tiring sometimes. I love them though.
Youngest son, 19 mnths, has surgery tomorrow. Keep us in your prayers. I have to drive him to San Antonio today (about 3 1/2 hrs) and his surgery is first thing in the morning.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
