Trying to be positive - with hope

[cat03]

oh honey, your story mirrors mine so much it's ridiculous. My H also went back with ow and when found out he just couldn't understand why he'd done that and that he never thought ahead nor about the damage he was causing us, our family. He also can't believe I still want him and that he can't live with his shame and guilt.

I dont' know what our C told him on his session alone, but now H has an understand why we accepted op back (perhaps he understand she was a quick fix and that the prob was him not our R)

Anyways, it is a long road. My H has many issues, and before he's able to work on us he has to heal himself, your H sounds as destroyed and confused as my H was/is. Let him heal himself first, otherwhise he won't have anything to offer you. He needs to seek C on his own (my H was also horribly depressed and on the brink)

During out "piecing" our Hs were not all there, my H led me to believe things went alright, sort of, did tell me a few times he felt disconnected. But once the ow came into the pict he started w/the lies again and drove himself into a mess.

It is very hard, but you need let him reach out to you, you need to let him help himself and fight his demons, if you are like me you've done too much for him and carried the M for both. Can't be like that. Your H needs to be whole, then he'll be the H he should be.

The second time around hurts as badly, but I hope that through what you've learned when it first happen you are able to cope better. Take it one day at a time, hugs)))