Went to the new C for him. It's odd how I thought I knew what was happening but apparently didnt', and H wanted me there so I could tell our story: "you tell it better and won't omit things". Made me feel better to air things out, since it was a new C, and not a MC we didn't resolve much, but a few things came out and the C agreed with me on a few things and said some very simple things to H that had him thinking. I did feel much better, he told me he didnt' feel any better (again, C told him a few things that were true that prob he didnt'want to admit) but he wanted to make an appt for first thing next week, so that's good.
We still go back and forth on the trip (I know I know, I should let it go) I agreed on 2 days, he still wants to go for the full trip, but if I'm sorry, he doesn't deserve it, and if he is going to make it my choice there it is :2 days or nothing. So he choose 2 days. We are still having a mini vacation as a family, so, I guess it's a fair agreement.
I can actually eat full meals and sleep all night, thanks to God the anxiety is pretty much gone and I can recall the worst of the A in some sorth of detachment, because now I know that H realizes the A was a horrible mistake and a quick fix and regrets it depply.
I'm still debating about when we should sleep together again (and still then, don't know when I'll be ready (or him) to ML again). Well, so far so good, God is great and I want to trust Him to heal my M and to let my H fight his demons.
Hugs to all, have a great weekend
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
