Thanks for the encouragement all. I do appreciate it and should take it to heart. Well I have S the whole weekend to think about continuing to DB or not.
Well I'm going to rewrite the divorce papers today, W's will not stand in court and I'd rather get it right the first time so that the vague aspects aren't reopened after 3 months when no one can agree.
S is not doing well at all. Just a reminder that he is 2.5 years. He cries all night long. He plays aggresive, and then does the zone out for 30 minute intervals. At night when he cries he won't let me hold him and if I so much as touch him, he hits me, moves away and curles up into a little ball. It is the sadest thing I have ever seen. He is just having the hardes time adjusting.
This morning I went to drop him off and for the first time in about a week he let me hold him. He wouldn't let me leave for work and when she tried to touch him he hit her and said "Mom not home." Exactly the same of what I have been getting. Well W is crying asking why is he like this and I explain it has been going on for weeks. Then she gets upset and says why haven't I told her, to which I explain that is what I have been talking about but you say I'm manipulating.
Well I kept my cool and I could tell she started being nice, I could tell she felt horrible guilt. She asked what we should do, I swear she is putting out feelers and signals to see where I stand, but I can't put myself out there right now emotionally, I'm sick of getting hit by the stick. I told her that he will just have to learn to adjust and this is how divorce goes.
I wish she could open her eyes and see what she is doing to everyone around her. How her selfish behaviors are destructive to herself and our S. I'm not worried about myself, I see what I did wrong and will move on fine, but I really worry about those two, they are going to have a hard time with life and relationships.
