I had a hypothetical question for you. I think you may understand where I am coming from, as I sense that your feelings are pretty much the same as mine in regards to our sitches.
You mentioned that you have given your husband heaps of chances to re-commit to a R. If the OW were to end the R, and not your H, would you take him back?
I have a feeling that my W and her OM's R is winding down, but my gut feeling is that he is seeing less of her and it may be his doing, not hers. I feel that if this were the case, I would never accept her back, because I would fear the next OM to come along, or current OM to possibly contact her in the future and rekindle their R.
I don't think my heart could handle it again, as I am slowly getting stronger and accepting my sitch, and looking to the future where I will find someone to respect me and love me unwaivering.
Anyway, sorry to put this hypo question on to you, sort of anti DBing if you know what I mean. I am just in such a confused state at the moment, it was so much clearer a month ago.
Anyway, I hope things settle for you very soon. All the best, AndyV
