Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW 3

[NikB]

I figure I might have one or two nights when I have a bit of a pity party for myself. Don't plan on that being the bulk of my life. Anyway, I like sitting in my undies eating cheetohs

haha well then, enjoy the cheetohs!!

Yeah, pity parties now and then are to be expected, just don't let 'em suck you down too far.

Oddly enough, what's bumming me out about moving is that I won't be able to grill. Against the law to grill on a balcony. Though I might get a small hibachi and hope no one notices.

Not odd at all! I suggest getting one of those stove-top grills for cooking at home. Not QUITE the same but they're pretty decent.

If it's more the "atmosphere" of it - does your complex have a BBQ area? If not.. invest in a small portable BBQ and some bags of charcoal. Invite a friend or new neighbor out once in awhile (or take the kids) to a park, and grill away!! Bet you won't be the only one in the apartments who misses grilling, so maybe that can be your "thing" to help make friends there.

[NikB]

They're a little nervous, as expected, but we're both reassuring them that we're going to see them a lot (I'll see them anywhere from 9 to 12 days a week; my W 7 or more) and that if they ever want to see the other parent, all they have to do is ask. They're excited about the bunk beds, which is kind of funny. Also excited that they have a bathroom attached their room and won't ahve to walk down the hall to pee in the middle of the night.

Wow, I thought I packed a lot of things into a week, but you have 16 - 18 days packed into each week??

I'm glad they are excited about some things. It's good they have stuff they like at each house, I think.

[ItsKat]

LOL, Nikki. I too, was trying to add and figure out how many days are in a Heimlich week.

H- You sound like you are in a good place and I am so glad. It's good that the girls are somewhat excited. Dealing w/ the kids in these sitches is always the most heartwrenching thing.

[Heimlich]

Heehee, er, that's every TWO weeks.

What can I say, I was a liberal arts major.

BD

[Gone Dancin']

Liberal Arts major, eh? What specifically? I have a B.A. in English, Secondary Education.

I knew there was a reason I liked you and your way of thinking (i.e. the witty humor)! You're not a pisces too, are you?

GD

P.S. I feel like you're getting beat up by OT and I a little recently, but I just hope you know it is out of sincere care (at least from me -- I'm never sure about OT (jk OT ) ). You very well may be right in much of what you intrepret from your W, but IMHO it is better to limit the optimism/subjectivity in our own sitches as best as we can in order to keep a level head and focus on implementing the tried and tested strategies.

You're a trooper, Heim -- you take the 2x4s with style and grace!

Keep focusing on how best to detach!

GD

[Heimlich]

GD,
International relations/French from Southern Miss
MA in International Politics (I think that's the official designation) from American University

Sadly, 4 years of French, used to be able to read -- and understand! -- Camus in French and I don't know if I could ask my way to a bathroom now were I to travel there. And THAT would be problematic as I can still manage to order a beer.

Gemini baby. Which means I argue with myself a lot. But, I'm never alone

Nah, no worries on feeling beaten on. I tend to get one thing/idea/way to approach something stuck in my head relative to all of this stuff. The outside opinions are invaluable as I try to sort through feelings/emotions/thoughts. Plus, after what my W did to me, this is like getting lashed with a limp noodle after that pain. Actually, it's kindof cool to get one of the real vets commenting on your sitch (two with you). It's like being validated or crowned as king of the prom or something.

Doing my best to detach and restrain the optimism. For now, feeling pretty OK. Though I've only been on the board for a short while, I've been dealing with this since last Oct, so in some senses I've got a jump on the detachment because I can look back and see how long this has been going on if you know what I mean.

My worse case scenario is that W is already seeing OM. She's being nice to ease the transition both for me and the girls. While we would have to cooperate closely on the girls anyway -- no family up here -- being friendly makes things easier. While she's saying some things that could be interpreted as positive for us as a couple, she's already made up her mind that OM is it for her. In about 2 months, she'll tell me she's been dating him. After the Christmas holidays, she'll introduce him to the girls and make that R official. Anything other than that is better.

Is that true? I have no idea. However, going to keep those thoughts in mind going forward so as not to be surprised if that turns out to be the case.

We'll just have to see.

BD

[Puddle]

Hey Heimlich,

I think you're wise to take those maybe-positive signs with a grain of salt, especially with OM in the picture. Same for being realistic about how that R will go. For me, the worst thing is being blindsided---I react emotionally before I take a breath, and that's never good. So if she tells you the day you move out that they're (back) together, you'll be able to breathe.

And good for you for letting her be nice to you. The advice to choose when to take her up on her kindness is also sound. You recognize what her LL is, and you don't want to shut that down. Slow and easy does it.

Take care. I can't believe you're a Saints fan, man.

[Heimlich]

Puddle,

"Maybe-positive"; that's a good term and definately the right way to view them until a history of them build up (IF that happens).

I'd probably still feel horrible if she said that, but I sort of expect it.

A long-suffering Saints fan too. Very odd to see the Saints as a preseason SB favorite. And, after watching the first half against KC on the NFL channel while doing some light edits, looking like one too! I'll keep talking to you even though you are a 49ers fan. I have a distinct memory of Jerry Rice crossing the goal line from one of those damn 7 yard slants that turned into a 60 yeard TD WITHOUT THE DAMN BALL (he dropped it a yard from the goal line) and still being awarded the TD. GRRRRRRRRRR. Not bitter. Not at all.

I thought you were on the West coast, but wasn't sure.

BD

[Steel_Box]

Hey Heimlich - just checking in to see how things are going. It looks like you are doing a good job of staying positive about things, keep going.

Going to be away from computers til Sunday, going to attempt suicide by triathlon in FLA. Have a good weekend.

Steel

[Heimlich]

Hey, Steel, don't bonk!

Quick journal entry for myself

Open house for school this morning. W and I took the girls to meet their teaches/see their classrooms. Our youngest is excited about starting kindergarten, always cute to see. We'll see how she feels on Monday when she actually has to go.

At any rate, standing in the kindergartner room and getting ready to go, W puts her hand on my shoulder for a few moments (something she used to do all the time). I didn't say anything and she took it away fairly quickly, but first time in a while she's done that. Baby step or habit from being in such a family situation?

Walking back from our older D's room, she walked close to me. Again, a little different. She's been keeping her distance when out together (we weren't always lovey dovey in public and could do the parent speed-get-the-kids-the-hell-out-of-wherever-we-were-because-they-were-being-disruptive walk with the best of them, but we were also one of those couples that walked close and constantly rubbed shoulders/bumped into each other). Again, another little thing, but a little different than the past.

Going to pay attention to this touching thing moving forward.

Felt really naked without my ring in that environment. Felt like I had a scarlett letter on my finger -- SEPERATED/DIVORCED PARENTS HERE. Blech, that sucked.

Kids have good teachers, so we're happy. D's 4th grad teacher isn't a big fan of homework, so that should make my D happy.

BD