I know that you don't sugar coat, and that's one reason I wanted to hear your view on the sitch. I would also like to say that I very much appreciate you taking the time to look at my sitch, and to give so many good insights and comments! Thanks!
I think that I got most of it, and you're probably right in what you say, even though there are a few things that I don't really get all the fine nuances about (I write that down to the language barrier, English is after all my second language). Anyway, the questions I had are first and foremost related to the following:
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He is not the om anymore
I guess that means that he's the Man now, and not the Other Man, or?
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wife traipsing around TOTALLY oblivious to what her kids are learning from this period of so-called "enlightenment"
I didn't really get that one, but you're right in that she used to be very grounded with a solid foundation, albeit with a belief in astrology...
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I would call her "lost" for sure
"Lost" as in lost in this weirdness, or "lost" as in lost for me? Or both?
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The question lies only in the positioning of the "pieces" and from your ex's mouth (via her note) you have heard it, she's "not there".
I guess you're right, but "only" in the positioning of the pieces. That "only" sounds pretty strong to me, but I can't really do more than I've just did. Now she knows where I am and what my position is and the rest is up to her.
One final question:
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"shacking up" that seems to be on the horizon
"Shacking up" meaning that they are now moving together and getting stable/solid together or?
A final word about XOM (now BF). He's quite the character. He calls himself "spiritual peacemaker" and gives massage, organises filmnights, and is soon to go on a quest/walk for six weeks in Spain. He got a calling, and then he responded. He doesn't care about money, responsabilities etc. He doesn't have a job, an income or anything of that kind. He once said to XW - when she broke up with him (for 14 hours) in October 2005 - "give me money for a plane ticket to Europe and I'm out of your life for good". Now he's in Europe...
As to my XW's MLC or not, of course I'm not sure, but my theory is that she's and has been for a while. I've read "Midlife crisis for dummies", "Six stages of MLC" and a lot more on this board, and she was behaving exactly in accordance to all those descriptions out there. She also to a large extent went from one opposite to another as to her own life and partner etc. My guess is that she's still in replay (a very long replay) but that is mainly because she's been able to pretend to be happy thanks to all the new age-stuff and - probably most important - that she and her BF have not been forced to live a regular life together.
He's wandering the world, and she's at home waiting for him with my kids...The irony of that is just mindboggling. She used to complain that I didn't do enough at home (although I did more than most other men I know, I took the night shifts, did all the laundry, put the kids to sleep etc etc etc), all while I was working more than fulltime and she was home looking after the kids (which of course is a fulltime job in itself!).
I don't think there's much more to say about the two of them, but if you want more details in order to better understand, I can of course provide you with that, but for the moment, I can't think of anything more that might be relevant.
Regarding your final recommendation to look after myself, be close to the kids etc, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. It won't be easy, but I don't really have any options, and if I do that and do it well, it doesn't really matter in the long run if I get her "back" or not.
Question is if I'm able to stand all the pain in the meantime, but hey, who said that life (especially with an XW in MLC) was going to be easy?
