need help to win back WAW

[Dom R]

I blame Dom R for ruining my PMA.

Dave, if you "ask" your wife if you can stay, it sounds like she'll just say "no".

no harm in starting out that way, i guess. But i'll bet you dollars to donuts, she'll say no, and it will come down to you making a decision whether you should move out, for yourself.


Staying doesnt automatically make things better.. but moving out, WILL make things worse. it's almost guaranteed: 8 out of 10 people in your situation agree, eh?

Maybe we do need the S for her to sort things out and for me to find myself and GAL.....

Lets look at this rationally, shall we?

How do you need to move out, to "find yourself"?
Why do YOU need to "find yourself" to begin with???

How does moving out, vs staying, in any way affect your choice in what you do with your non-work time? (ie, your "GAL" plans?)


It sounds like you have swallowed a bunch of justification talk from your wife, hook, link, and sinker, without taking a step back and seeing if what she said actually makes sense.
It doesnt.

I am shocked that a DB coach would suggest a separation.
you might want to get a 2nd (professional) opinion on that.


"recto ad absurdum" logical argument comparison:
If your wife told you, that she needed to go to a male strip club every night, to "burn off excess sex horhomes", would you say "ok honey, if thats what you think is best for our marriage".
If your wife told you that she needed to have "fantasy affairs" with other men on the internet, because she needed some "spice" in her life, and that would make your relationship better, would you say "ok honey" ?

I'm HOPING that you would oppose her demands in those cases, because you know it would be harmful to your marriage, even if she sulked and fumed for a month. yes, it "worked out" for nikkib, but she is the exception, rather than the common example, of what happens after separation.

Along those lines, even though she has told you that YOU "have to move out", for HER to feel better.... what she is asking you for, is bad for your marriage. I think you should politely refuse.

In some ways, if you move out, you are showing her by your actions, that you dont value your marriage enough to stick around for it, and you'll just peacefully and calmly go along with any future divorce plans, etc. that she comes up with, so long as she says it is "what she needs right now".

Yes, behaving yourself while you are still in the house, is Very Difficult. But, time to shape up and be a man about it!

If you have problems getting into arguments with your wife when you are in the same room... spend your time in a different room!
Get an extra tv or computer or something, make yourself a "den/study", and get comfortable there.
Convert your garage. Something. ANYTHING. just dont move out.
You can give her space, while at the same time not moving out.
"moving out to give her space", is bunk.