Jackson, you have asked for my input regarding your sitch and I can only hope you have "read" me long enough to know I don't sugar coat things.
First let me say that I am sorry you are away from your kids for such long periods of time. Four months IS a long time but you have a good attitude about it and I know that the kids feel that. It's still a very unfortunate reality, though...
MLC....God knows it does send a person "out there" where the buzzards won't even fly...the lifestyle of your ex's bf may well attest to that but let me put it to you in the most extreme way I can: He is not the om anymore.
Quote:
"I appreciate your fine card...I admire your courage to release these feelings and emotions after all we've been through...I also admire your ability to forgive for what has happened...You have grown as a human being, and I'm glad that you're our children's father...Because you're opening up and are honest, I want to do the same...I don't want to hurt you, but I want to be honest...I want to continue this relationship [with OM] and give it a chance, not the least because now he's taking this step and moving in with me in Europe...You're a fine man, and I admire and respect you for your courage and your warm heart. It would be wonderful for the kids to live together with the parents we are today, both at the same time, but I'm not there today. We do not know what the future has in store, but this is how I feel now."
I appreciate the honesty of your wife's note and think you have no choice but to respect it. She told you she's "not there today" while also stating it "would be wonderful for the kids to live together with the parents we are today". That shows a little growth and a slight footing in reality but I'd really have to have some serious background information to form the opinion your ex is really in MLC and not just on a permanent mental vacation. The vagabond she seems to have hooked up with would be of great concern for me, too, if I were you. But I think that's because of the liklihood he's going to break her heart. Perhaps I have interpretted your description of him wrong and if so, I apologize but I have the impression of your wife traipsing around TOTALLY oblivious to what her kids are learning from this period of so-called "enlightenment".
Sheesh. I think I've been harsh yet trust me, I am guarding my words tremendously. I do not know your wife or her history or what led up to this. Perhaps she was a good woman with a solid foundation that mlc has caused to all but lose her mind. If she had that kind of background, I would call her "lost" for sure.
As for you, I respect the fact that you dare to hope and I do believe there is nothing that can't be turned around. The question lies only in the positioning of the "pieces" and from your ex's mouth (via her note) you have heard it, she's "not there".
Live YOUR life. Get as close to your kids as possible. Especially with the "shacking up" that seems to be on the horizon.
