Pushing for Dissolution

[Dom R]

I appreciate your candor. In truth, I could see my wife writing many of these same thoughts down and so it's helpful to me to have to think about and address them.

yup. it's why i asked.

So. you are being unclear and vague.
this morning, you said that you "made promisies to change in the past but didnt keep them".

when i confronted you just now, you changed your story to, "well, I made promises, and I kept most of them".

This sounds Quite Bad.
This sounds like you are still playing games of avoiding responsability for your part, in what you need to change.

So, rather than describing (in a very general way) the promises that you DID keep... how about describing the promises that you did not keep. Why you made them, why you didnt keep them, and how, if at all, you are different now?

copping out and saying, " I'm sure she could provide an example where I didn't because I'm not an angel. ", is saying,

"well, gee I must have done something wrong, but either *I* dont think I did anything wrong, or what was important to her, just isnt important enough for me to think about it".


It's not looking good for you, until you are serious about doing some SERIOUS work on yourself (with both time spend, and effort), ADMITTING where and how you screwed up, specifically, and understanding whether or not you are really emotionally ready to change your behaviour, for the rest of your life.
If you're not.. then better skip making fast but empty promises to your wife that you're not going to keep.

Your exact words, above:
"Every time this happens, I make promises to change and then break them. "

If you dont even know specifics about how you "broke them", but you still said that....
It just sounds like you are doing exactly the same thing, desparately saying "I'll change! I'll change!" without having any clue what you are talking about, let alone commitment to enact any meaningful change to positively influence your relationship.

I'm claiming to have suddenly acquired direction and purpose.

What direction? what purpose?

The only direction and purpose I've read from you, is,

I WANT HER BACK!!!!

Doesnt sound like you know why, or what you would do if she came back.
That's no reason for her to COME back. Sounds like you'd be just as messed up as before. both of you.

Maybe you should just stick to the "try retrouvaille approach", like ponygirl suggested.
So that, rather than making desperate promises "to change", when you dont even know if they are good changes to make...

Go find out what has worked for many many marriages, and then after listening to whatever it is that they say for a weekend... talk with her about whether it is something that both of you are willing to try together.