I don't see where Gwynn said anything about this being a "sudden" change in behavior. She did say that he's always been slow...(lucky gwynn! ). But the complete lack of climaxing is more recent...not "sudden".
It IS age related. all of these things are. ED, too, although, that's not what he's got. (from the description). The ravages of time do things to our anatomy.
anyway, google "anorgasmia", and here's the first hit you get:
"...As men age there is a natural slowing down of many physiological processes. "
stress, anxiety, depression are major psychological causes. Gwynn said that he came home the other night with "the weight of the world" on his shoulders. There are physical causes, too, which are related to age. But that is NOT to say that its "normal" for older guys' sexual desire/performance to dry up and blow away at some particular and predictable age.
I have to say this. My H has no problem in become erect. When I climax, he's done, boner and all, he simply rolls over and seems to be as content as he can be. Now I ask is this stress related, anxiety, etc.
Oldtimer. I certainly can ask if we can spend money on Ret. I've suggested this before and he told me that a nice vacation, just the two of us would be just as good for us. That seems like a very logical statement to me. I like vacations.
I have been to Retrouvaille. The cost is $100.00 deposit plus a donation of what you can afford. They never turn people away due to monetary cost. That is where the sponsorship of the Catholic Church is so helpful. A vacation is nice, but it doesn't solve underlying marital problems the way Retrouvaille does. It's not the same. Of course, I don't know if Ret. can solve physical problems. I'm glad to hear that he gets hard and is happy when you're done. But a visit to a urologist is probably still in order.
Sounds like a great idea to ask again, especially since you were pretty direct about your problems in the M recently.
"H, I want to improve our M. I mentioned Retrouvaille before and you said you preferred a vacation. A vacation will not change our M in the way I need it to change. Retrouvaille might. Please split the cost with me."
Okay, since everyone is being so kind, I feel that I must be square with you. I find myself beginning an EA. Not because I'm wanting to get back at my H, it's because my needs aren't being met and I'm still not 100% engaged in our M because of our history. I don't want to screw anything good up either way. This is exactly why I've pretty much locked myself in the house. I know that I'm vulnerable and I wanted to keep myself from being tempted.
Should I confess to my husband? It really hasn't gotten far at all, three e-mails is all but I consider that cheating and I don't want to cheat.
Would you be confessing to your H to get a reaction from him? I'm not sure 3 emails constitute an EA no matter what they were saying, but that's just my opinion.
Obviously, it needs to stop immediately or it will snowball. You may be surprised at how hard it is to stop, but you will regret it later if there is any chance of making things work w/ your H.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
That is just another reason to take Oldtimer's advice. Have the conversation with H and go to Retrovaille as soon as possible.
There are problems within the marriage that need to be dealt with, and then you and he will be happier together. You would not believe the difference it made in my marriage. One thing I've learned is things do not get better by themselves. They build into a lot of baggage that you just get tired of hauling around and eventually kill the marriage.
P.S. The EA may well explain H's inability to orgasm. The EA creates distance in your R and interferes with intimacy. H may need more authentic intimacy to reach orgasm at this point in life and the EA is preventing that.
Heed the advice of others on this board. 3 emails is more than enough to get the "juices" flowing, and at some point, if you let this continue, those juices are going to take control and lead you to make some bad choices. Take it from someone who didn't realize the power of those juices before it was too late.
And I can guarantee you that OM is plotting ways to take this 3 email romance to the next level. 3 flirtatious emails is not enough to cause lasting damage to your M. Stop it now before you regret it the rest of your life.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
). But the complete lack of climaxing is more recent...not "sudden".