Hi. Horrible night. D is back at the hospital (H took her). She can't keep her medicine down (Biaxin). She keeps throwing up, so we are assuming she's allergic? Anyway, I haven't had any sleep, I'm the one who gives all the meds., takes care of the sick kids, goes to the hospital when they are sick, takes them to dr. appts. etc. Now, I know that's what I'm supposed to do since I'm their mom, and I'm at home and not working, but H just stands around when older D is having a tantrum tonight about taking her medicine. I got SOOOO flustered, I yelled at her, and my H, then I stormed out of the house. I just stood on the front step, but I felt like I wanted to put my head through a wall!
So, H tells me to take her to the ER, I told him to do it, that I couldn't do it again tonight, being tired, and I'm so upset about all of this. My kids have been sick for over a month! So, he got ready to take her to the ER, and I told him I was sorry for being a you-know-what, and he said "don't worry about it". Well, I'm worried about it. I've been nasty for a few days, and he says he understands, but I don't know if he "really" understands or if he just doesn't want to talk about it (that was his M.O. b/4 the bomb, not wanting to discuss anything).
So, b/4 they left, I held D and told her that I was sorry I yelled but I want her to get better and I was worried when she wouldn't take her meds. Then, she was throwing up, and I got more worried. I've been crying since they left. I feel like a horrible mom, a horrible wife too.
H decided he didn't love me anymore because I was a B#$^% in our "old" R. Well, I'm nervous that now maybe he thinks the old me is back, when she really isn't, you know what I mean? I'm just having a bad few days.
