Now, it would really be interesting for you to become unpredictable and dangerous.
I say do this for YOU. Cause, hun, you are way too nice. I know, cause I'm too nice also.
What would that look like?
Attending poetry readings at the local university where people smoke clove cigarettes? Maybe get hit on by a college professor who looks like Jack Kerouac?
Take up the Filipino art of Kali: stick fighting and knife fighting?
Take a mountain climbing vacation in the Rockies or the Cascades?
Take an improvisational theatre class?
Take a stab at Stand Up Comedy?
Get a few girlfriends together and rent Last Tango in Paris?
Spend a weekend retreat at a monastary?
Make a pilgrimage to a holy place that might mean something to you? Memphis? Cane Ridge? Gettysburg? Rome? Iona?
Go to an old fashioned tent-healing-revival meeting? Tell a group strangers your darkest secrets and have them lay hands on you for a cathartic release?
Go see a Rock Concert?
Go visit Wendell Berry and ask him about the meaning of life?