H and I spoke yesterday, nice conversation. He called and said he hadn't wanted to talk on the phone b/4 this call, or even now because it's so expensive for him to call me (it sure is, he told me one 15 min. call from him to me cost over $90.00).
So, I asked if he checked the email I sent him, said he hadn't yet and would email me later in the day. This was yesterday, so far no email from him. I understand that he what he is doing is very important, but the hotel he is in has internet access so that shouldn't be a problem, right? I am hoping that the connection is down or something. I tried to call him today when it was between 7-8 am his time. He usually works out in the morning, so I thought I'd catch him after his workout. No answer on the room phone. My mind started working overtime "what's he doing", "why isn't he emailing", etc. I shouted in my mind STOP!!!!
I have thought about what he needs from me, and what I need from him. I love getting emails from him when he's away. I send him emails daily. I check my email several times a day HOPING for just ONE email from him. Why doesn't he have the same desire to read his email from me?? I know he hasn't read it because he told me yesterday that he hadn't checked it in days.
His needs from me are Space (he doesn't like clinginess), actions, (doesn't go too much for words). I try to give him what HE needs, why can't he give me what I need? My needs are simple. Words. Words do a lot for me, I don't know why, it's just how I am. Since he's not here right now, I can't view his actions (the way he acts does a lot for me too), so I look for words. How can I tell him what I need? I mean, he knows what I need, but for some reason, doesn't place too much importance on it unless I ask him questions. He suprised me so much when he first left on his trip and opened an email account JUST TO EMAIL ME! But, he only emailed me twice and that was during the first couple of days he was gone. I know I should be happy and just deal with what I can get, but I am having a hard time with that.
I left a message on his room phone "Hi, just wanted to make sure you were safe, I didn't get your email yesterday and I got worried about you. Well, just wanted to make sure you're safe." He's in a country with a threat to Americans, so I'm pretty concerend, although I know the reason he hasn't emailed is because it's not that important to him.
Am I nuts? Is this just another step in the process? Sometimes I think I expect too much, other times I don't think it's too much to ask. Why doesn't he have that "yearning" for contact with me? Is it because his love language is SO different from mine?? (I love that book!!) Any advice would be great! Jill
