Get me on a smoother ride........Need Advice

[SueS]

Thanks JAK-

The reason I asked about still giving little pats, hugs...etc. is because about a year ago....during one of his threats to leave, he said that I hadn't given him enough of that affection......although that had increased a lot before this all started. I don't want to push him further away though if he's not willing to accept it right now.

It's hard to be mysterious. I can try though. We have a pretty set schedule. He drops our D off at daycare and I pick her up. With no relatives in the area, it's hard to have someone watch her so I could go do something.

I just keep wondering if his anger the past few days has anything to do with any kind of shake up between him & OW. I haven't seen any calls between them in 3 days. Obviously, those could easily be erased from his phone or the calls could be to his work now, but they have always gone to his cell & he's never erased them before. I've given him no reason to think that I've been looking at it. I do it when he's asleep. Besides, he's the kind of guy that would make an off handed comment if he did suspect my looking. I know, I shouldn't, but that's the only thing I look at.

No response from an email I sent earlier today. Guess with his mood, I didn't really expect one.

I'd appreciate more advice. I'll be back on tomorrow sometime. I don't go on at home. I don't want my H to see anything.

Thanks everyone. Have a good evening.

SueS

[SueS]

Good morning everyone-

Rollercoaster night & morning. H called last night from work and actually talked quite a bit and was in a fairly good mood. He doesn't usually get home from work until about 9:30-9:45. I was sitting on the deck when he got home. He just snapped at me asking why I was sitting there. Not usually my spot to sit. I just said.....it's actually a nice night out and I'm not tired. H just got changed and went to work out. I tried to strike up a small conversation with him & he just snapped at me.

This morning our little D was up very early. I had done my morning ritual of looking at H's phone & saw 3 calls (2 from her, 1 to her). One of the calls was right before he got home...when he was so grouchy. The one call that made me the most angry & I'm not sure exactly why, was the one from her to him at 1:00 am. That one just got to me. Maybe because I knew he was probably home when he got that call. I got that "How Dare She" attitude. That made me so mad I literally wanted to punch something. Then I heard H and our D talking in the bedroom. He knows that one of the things I love about him is how he is with our D. They were reading a book. Our D said...mommy, earlier when you were talking to me, were you crying. I smiled and said.....no honey, I had gotten something in my eye when I put on my makeup. H just looked at me. He kept watching me while I got ready. Oh yeah, I think he may have noticed that I did my nails.....I never do them.

So, when I got ready to leave, I asked H to make lunches for him and D. I'd made them all week. He jokingly gave me hard time for not doing it. I told him I'd see him later and bent over to kiss him......as I always do. He turned his head. I said....Okay, see you later and moved away. He grunted a little and when I looked back, he had his lips pursed for a kiss. I gave him one. While I kissed him, he did this silly little thing that he knows is annoying to me, but makes me laugh. I told him I'd see him later & left.

So, bad attitude, good attitude. What the heck is the deal? It was almost like he was happier with me because he'd talked to her.

Any thoughts???

SueS

[JAK58]

[/quote]So, bad attitude, good attitude. What the heck is the deal? It was almost like he was happier with me because he'd talked to her.

Any thoughts???
[quote]

Sues,

It's called the MLC rollercoaster ride, and it sucks.

Sounds to me like you are being mysterious as you can be. Keep it up as it does make them wonder.

Leave early for work if you can. It was good you asked him to make lunch for them like you were in a hurry to get out of there.
THe nails, cool he may thnk you are trying to impress someone else.

It sounds to me like there may be trouble with H and OW although time will tell.


JAK

[bobelina]

SueS,
Some stuff here to look at:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1173152&page=0#Post1173152

I'll be back (In my best Terminator voice).

BoBeLiNa

[SueS]

JAK-

Thank you so much! You turned my down day into an up day. Your comments just made me feel better.

I'm trying hard. I do have to get in early tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. Come to think of it, there have been days that I've left early that my H asks why.

I want so badly to call H at work just to ask him a few things, but then there's that part of me that wants to just see if he emails or calls me. I don't want him to push away, but I don't want him to think that I don't care either.

This is so tough!!

Thanks again JAK-

SueS

[Kali]

Sue one thing that will help and I know, I know it is the toughest of them all. Is no more snooping! It does you know good, and by snooping it makes you second guess everything. It is hard at first, but then after awhile you realize you feel so much better because you do not get caught in the roller coaster that knowing causes.

[SueS]

Sue one thing that will help and I know, I know it is the toughest of them all. Is no more snooping! It does you know good, and by snooping it makes you second guess everything. It is hard at first, but then after awhile you realize you feel so much better because you do not get caught in the roller coaster that knowing causes.

LeftInCali-

Thanks for the reminder!! You made me smile because I felt like you were giving me a kind scolding. I know, I know. Each time I do look at his phone, it just hurts even more! I ask myself what my demeanor would be like if I hadn't even seen the first call or looked at the phone bill. I guess that initial snooping helped me to know what was really going on though. I made myself stop looking at the phone bill because I found myself in a flood of tears at my desk at work one day. Not good when I have an open cube and sit directly outside both of my bosses' offices. Although they are wonderful guys and have told me that I can come to them with anything. OH YEAH......let's add to the sting of my H's A. One of my bosses........who I absolutely adored (professionally only) is having an A also. This I know because I do a huge amount of work in his calender & email for him. I saw (by accident)...messages to/from another co-worker. I love his wife to death and want to slap him.....saying.....this is for your wife & for the daily reminder of my own situation!!

So, I called H a few minutes ago. He was on lunch. I was friendly as could be. He was quiet. Just asked if he could get off early tomorrow so we could get to the wedding on time. Asked if he'd been busy....etc. Then, I asked if he was planning on golfing on Sunday. He loves it and had told a friend that they'd try to golf this weekend. His response was......I wasn't planning on it....why?.....are you trying to get rid of me? My response: Of course not......I just saw an ad for a festival near us and thought it would be something for us to do this weekend....if not all of us, then me and our little D. I kind of left it at that. He had to get back to work & I said.....okay then....I'll see you later!! SMILE, SMILE SMILE!!

Bob-----Thanks so much for the thread. I will definately take a look.

SueS

[SueS]

C2H-

If you see this.....please respond.

I noticed that your registration date is back in 2000. Mine shows as much later, but I was actually registered under a different name in 2001-2002. Your user name looked familiar to me and I was wondering if you remembered Tre. She helped me an incredible amount during the time I was on here. I've often thought about her and wondered how she is. I lost touch.

SueS

[SueS]

Everyone have a good evening. I'm off to pick up a few things for my D's school project tomorrow.

I don't get on at home, so I'll check in on everyone tomorrow.

I'll have you all in my thoughts.

SueS

[Committed2Him]

SueS, sorry, don't recogize the name. If you find some old timers, you just never know who knows/knew whom. take care.