Mr. Hindsight,
OUCH...
Hmmmmmm...
Have you read my journey? It may or not help:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1173745&page=0#Post1173745

Bro' see if these help. No particular order:

Getting Info/Spying:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=2921026&an=0&page=2#Post2921026
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=3237296&an=0&page=0#Post3237296
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?fid=10

NC/LRT/180/Plan A/B:
http://survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/divorce/no_contact.asp
http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=72
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/postlist.php?Cat=0&Board=UBB30&page=0
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2995076

How to destroy a marriage:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/005978.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Destroy-Your-Marriage-in-Ten-Easy-Steps&id=585488

More Stuff:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Three-Essential-Needs-For-A-Viable-Marriage&id=630482
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=3277052&page=0&fpart=all&vc=1
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq.asp
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=019927
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Go here also as there is more stuff:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1173876&page=0#Post1173876
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Hope this helps.
BoB ;\)