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[Heimlich]

Atlas,

You're W is falling apart. You're getting stronger. Just remember that you do have to coparent. Don't do or say things in front of your son to your W that you'll regret later.

Walk of shame, what a great expression. Always loved that one.

In all honesty, I think your W still wants to be with you but has no idea how to do it. I have a feeling you might get the opportunity for the spurned lovers ultimate revenge -- turning down the one who left you.

Let her go man. Detachment still key. She has no power over you.

Stay strong,

BD

[dlt1]

Hey Please welcome as the newest member of this not so exclusive club! I'm done with W too. Saw C today, she gave me a few tidbits that I think you may be able to use. I had asked her what I need to be doing to help me start to move on.
1. Do something to nurture yourself every day. Can be a couple hours or a couple minutes. For me, a bike ride, watching planes take of and land. Time with my dogs. Just things that you do FOR yourself.
2. Limit the sauce, no brainer for DB'ers
3. Make future plans. A trip to see friends. A movie to go to. Set up things to do. (GAL)
4. Spend some time alone to your thoughts. As hard as it is right now. Reflect on things, not just this sitch.
5. Find people who are dealing with smilar sitch...ta da! You're already here
6. Lean on your support network. Friends, Family, us. Trust them.
7. Feel the pain, anger, sadness, resentment. Feel it, it does not control you.
8. Journal
That's the basic jist. I hate that I forget things from C. I need to remember to bring a notebook!

[Atlas]

I'm a bad guy, but she needs someone to be firm with her. She is calling and being real nice, we have business to handle in seperating things. But she is upset that I'm forcing her to seperate things and doing it this quickly.

I just got a 350 dollar phone bill and have been telling her for 3 days to get her own account, today I said either get your own account or tonight I shut your number off. I haven't told her this yet either, but it is open enrollment at work and I just found out that I can drop her from the health insurance right now. I'll call her prior to doing it so she can set up her own, but she is out on that to.

I do not understand why she can be upset that her husband sees her return from a night spent who knows where, and now I want out as fast as I can run. She is concerned at the rate I have been changing and seperating things, why? She did this, and now she has to reap what she sowed. I know she thought we were going to be these great friends, hell she talked about spending x-mas at the house a while ago, no way, I'm done. Driving me coo-coo, well fun tonight and some ladies. YES!!!!

[Atlas]

oh one last thing, I love all of you and wish you all luck. I'll probably shut up shop this weekend on the newcomers thread and head over to the "surviving the big D" thread.

Watch out world, here comes a new single dad! Crap, this divorce will take months to go through, won't it??

[Heimlich]

Atlas,

Just clicked, same question you asked me -- you sure she was where you think she was? Any other explanation?

For your sanity, I know why you're detaching, it's just you were so close less than a month ago that it just seems a shame to totally throw in the towel. However, I agree on you taking the steps to protect yourself, especially regarding the cell phone -- especially since she can go to the mall and be up and running on another account in an hour. If her insurance would be more expensive than what you have, why not offer to keep her on yours but make her pay for it. If she doesn't pay, you drop her. You're giving her a little good/little bad, plus you're still being a good guy.

Resist the urge to be vindictive, as hard as it is. You'll feel better about yourself in the long run.

Have fun with the ladies! woo hoo. Wish I weren't so damn shy.

BD

[PMA_Baby!]

I'm a bad guy, but she needs someone to be firm with her. She is calling and being real nice, we have business to handle in seperating things. But she is upset that I'm forcing her to seperate things and doing it this quickly.

I just got a 350 dollar phone bill and have been telling her for 3 days to get her own account, today I said either get your own account or tonight I shut your number off. I haven't told her this yet either, but it is open enrollment at work and I just found out that I can drop her from the health insurance right now. I'll call her prior to doing it so she can set up her own, but she is out on that to.

I do not understand why she can be upset that her husband sees her return from a night spent who knows where, and now I want out as fast as I can run. She is concerned at the rate I have been changing and seperating things, why? She did this, and now she has to reap what she sowed. I know she thought we were going to be these great friends, hell she talked about spending x-mas at the house a while ago, no way, I'm done. Driving me coo-coo, well fun tonight and some ladies. YES!!!!

You, unfortunately, took the words right out of my mouth. We deserve to be happy. We deserve better.

Hang tough. It's "Gone Legal" now

[walkingcliche]

Atlas,

You can go completely Tyler Durden if you want to, just remember that you will never fully get rid of Jack.

I'm no one to talk. I mean, hell, it seems like I'm having as much trouble with my sitch as anyone. But, since I am not in your sitch, please allow me to tell you how to do it better:

Try making a game out of it. Try to intentionally divide yourself into the private, hidden man that wants his wife to get her $#/+ together, and the public, visible guy that is going to cover his &$$ and get what's coming to him. Never let the two meet, and always remember which one is really you.

It's virtually impossible, I know. Yet, if you can pull it off, it may just work.

Anyway, you gotta be off your nut to take any advice from me.

Wait a minute. If that's the case, why won't my W listen?

[Gone Dancin']

LOL! Funny WC -- I enjoyed that a lot!

[Iamworththetime]

oh one last thing, I love all of you and wish you all luck. I'll probably shut up shop this weekend on the newcomers thread and head over to the "surviving the big D" thread.

See ya there bro, that's where I'm headed.

[dlt1]

I'll be there with you as well! Friend told last night he was just reading that Aug/Sept is the most common time for D's to be filed. See, we're normal