Rough Translation: 'Om and salutations to that feminine energy which bestows all manner of wealth, and for which Shrim is the seed' Pronounced "shreem"
This mantra has not only been used for the purpose of attracting prosperity, but also for drawing in proper friends, clearing up family misunderstandings and quarrels, and smoothing some health problems. As we all know, there are many different kinds of wealth. As you use this mantra, focus on the kind of wealth you wish to manifest in your life.
I guess our talk yesterday wasn't so bad. I think I got out most of my frustrations with what didn't go so well. I believe they had much to do with me going back to a few old habits/behaviors while I was around H. I was quick to forgive myself, as I did my best and that wasn't so bad. I also recognize that it was an improvement, so I can feel good about that. There were definitely plenty of positives, which I am choosing to focus on.
My C gave me some homework to do. He suggested I write a letter to my Dad, my Mom, and THEN my H... not to give to them, just for myself. As the relationships I have with them are ALL related and I get that. About 2 1/2 weeks ago, I unloaded some of my feelings toward my Dad when I was visiting them for dinner and he was being a jerk to my Mom. I didn't know if I should be feeling bad and/or was wrong for blaming my Dad some for me being in the position I am. My C was very pleased with me for doing what I did and not apologizing for my actions (very unlike me, and very unlike me to not worry about mending things).
I am still skeptical and wondering about my H's "idea" for us... staying M, but planning a longer separation (buying his own home, etc.). I told him last night that I am sure he is well-intentioned but that I thought about his plan and it just doesn't fit for me. Doesn't make sense to me. He said it was only an idea. Then he said "if anything changes I'll let you know". Well, although this might've only been his attempt at being in control, this statement brought me back to March when I promised him I would let him know if I decided I couldn't wait any longer and wanted to D. So, I told him "I respect that and have stayed true to my word as well... and that is why I have been trying to meet with you for awhile now. I didn't want to do anything without talking to you first." (and went on to talk about my eagerness to move forward in my life) Of course, he just said "we'll talk," and smiled.
He also brought up coming over to play bocce ball sometime. I feel like that leaves it up to me to invite him over, but I guess I'm fine with that... kind of nice having an excuse to initiate another get-together with him so we can keep the conversation going.
So much was said yesterday. Still processing I guess. Oh, Ian... you will love this one... H slapped my @$$ again, when we were walking out the door to go to breakfast. I laughed but turned to him and asked in a light tone "what makes you think you can slap my @$$ like that?"... he said something like "because that is just me and how I show affection." He had already given me a quick kiss on the lips when we hugged to greet each other.
Anywhooo, enough for now. Thanks for reading. It's a beautiful day here today, the sun finally started shining again yesterday afternoon. Yippee!! Have a great Thursday friends.
Me: 37 M: 14 yrs Separated 10/06; Filed for D 12/07 Life is good.
