Not sure where to post and I feel a bit lost. I have been lurking around the piecing forum. Lately I feel a lot of resentment and anger and I read a lot of advice with dealing with these issues overhere. So here's my post. I hope all your positive energy and outlooks will help me lift mine again. The past few months I have had contact with Imlin which helped me.
So I'm not really piecing ...yet. But I need help. I hope you do not mind if I post overhere.
Sitch in short: DH(38) behaviour changed rapidly in October '05. He suggested counselling but made no effort whatsoever to talk. He moved out early in june '06 and dropped the ILYBNILWY bomb two weeks later. He also admitted to an affair and said he ended it...the day before... Well he seriously detached and became mean and nasty. In December I found out he lived together with OW (23) and went dark the same week I found DB. Me(34) and DS (2) went on a monthlong vacation, before we left DH told me he did not make a choice and was having the same problems with OW. After my return I DBed like crazy and he was very skeptical but started coming around longer and inviting me etc.
He left the country to start a restaurant for 6 months with OW and her dad but returned today. About 6 weeks ago he started OR talk and said that OW means nothing and he went abroad to try out being a chef not to be with her. He said he loves me very much and it stood out high amongst all the mess he's in. Said I'm the most important woman in his life because I understand him.
We sublet an appartment in our house and it will be free next month. In the talk he suggested living there and I agreed but said that it would kill me if OW will come. He said she will not and it will be the end of it but he doesn't care. Now about us. He said he had blamed me for too much in our marriage and now it was time to look at himself. He did not put enough effort in the marriage from the beginning. He said I should not have any expectations when he starts living in the appartment whatsoever and he is not moving there to work on us but to be close to DS. He added that he does not feel attracted to me anymore. Which obviously worries me. After the OR talk he was very relieved but the weeks which followed he detached again.
I feel positive about him living very close by. It gives us the opportunity to spend time again together and retreat aswell. He can follow my changes and he can start to trust me again. (said a lot of times he feels my changes are not for real but to lure him back in)
Lately i started to feel very resentful and angry towards him and I feel he senses this immediately. I don't want to ruin this.
